5.04.2009

Having a baby

Lee and I are expecting a baby in November. We are very excited and are enjoying making baby plans. Right now, though, I am completely exhausted and very emotional. I just drove home the 20 minutes from work and cried the whole way. Not just small tears, but convulsing, almost-having-to-pull-over kind if tears. And I don't even know why. I remember thinking about how tired i was, then all of a sudden the tears came and I couldn't stop them. Even now, they are rolling down my face. I feel like the only person who has ever cried over something completely inconsequential. which is utter nonsense, and any pregnancy book will tell you that it is completely normal to be emotional. But it doesn't stop me from feeling alone. :(. In general, I can totally have peace that God is taking care of me and that He is in control of what is going on inside of me. But knowing that He is working on me, doesn't make the tears stop. And that just makes me cry harder, because I know that if I truly believe that God is in control, I should be happy. And if I'm not happy, that means that I am not trusting Him. And I do trust Him!!! So why am I not happy today? I blame it on the hormones, which have no logic...